Oregon's Largest Newspaper Writes Bigfoot Policy Speech for Donald Trump
|Sasquatch feet aren't just big they are "Yuuuuge!"|
"I would give the Northwest what it's never had, a winning Bigfoot policy." --The Oregonian's Fictional Donald Trump
So you can see I could do amazing things for Oregon. Bigfoot won't come out and talk to anybody? He'll talk to me. More than anybody who has ever run for president, I know Bigfoot. I was on a talk show with Bigfoot — the network begged me to come on — and he's a good guy, although not as smart or good-looking as I am.Sources:
Between you and me, even my feet are bigger, although the media won't tell you that.
I would give the Northwest what it's never had, a winning Bigfoot policy. We've got a Bigfoot policy put together by losers, a Bigfoot policy run by people with small feet and smaller IQs. I could bring Bigfoot out by offering him a free week at a Trump hotel. Nobody would refuse that, because Trump hotels are the greatest places in the world.
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I liked the interview, but that's pretty funny. :)